Last week I received a comment on an earlier post I had made about the closing of the Huronia Regional Center in Orillia. It’s quite long, and the person has a vastly different opinion than mine. As the publisher of this blog, I have the right to decide what to post or not post, and I could easily have rejected the comment, but I think that this is a topic that deserves to be open to all opinions. And so I allowed the comment to stand.

You can read it here. Please do, because every opinion is important, and you’ll need to have read the comment to make much sense of my replies below.

I want to address some of the things in the comment. If you are planning to read on, you might want to grab a coffee, because it’s going to be a very long post.

And before I start it, I want to say that while I have never personally worked at the HRC my husband spent nearly 30 years there, and my daughter worked there for a few summers. My exposure is limited to visits to the HRC and some of the residents, and to quite a few staff. We have had both staff and residents in our home over the years. Some of what I’ve written below is my opinion, but my husband has corroborated almost everything I have written, from his point of view.

I asked my husband to read the comment based on his knowledge and experience at the HRC. His comment was two words that I can’t print.

So, in reply to Tyr who wrote the comment (and who is entitled to hold that opinion):

Tyr -

Yes, we lived on the salary my husband earned while caring for those residents. We didn’t “live off” the HRC. He was “otherwise emplolyed” when he finally got on at the HRC. He went there because that was what he wanted to do with his life, help others. He went to college to be certified in that field.

Much of what you speak about occurred in every facility in their early days, and I agree that back then there was much for society to be ashamed about (still is, even outside the facility so that hasn’t changed much), including the abusive and horrifying treatments. “Things that would and should haunt us all” – yes, there is a lot that in the past. I’m not denying there were these things, or saying that the HRC was perfect. It wasn’t. But it was a good place for the time we knew it.

Not because of the mission statement, but in spite of it. The HRC was populated by people, residents and staff. Obviously not every staff was “good”, just as not every person in society is “good”. But there were hundreds who were.

But in the 30 years my husband worked there most of the “horror” stories were residents attacking staff, not the other way around (although there were a few). Or residents attacking residents. The kind of horror stories you describe were not anything my husband ever saw or heard of at the HRC while he was there. My husband was injured on a few occasions trying to prevent residents from beating each other senseless as were many staff. The rule was that you couldn’t hit or harm any resident, even to defend yourself. They taught methods of restraint which in most cases were nothing more than wrapping your arms around the resident, in a rather “hug-like” manner until they calmed down.

The HRC wasn’t perfect, but then society isn’t perfect either. There were a few cases in that facility that we know of where people have been charged and found guilty (staff I mean) of abuse or sexual assault. A very few cases. Probably not all have been discovered. I certainly don’t claim any of that as “right” either. If it’s wrong in society, then it’s wrong in an institution.

I don’t disagree that many who were dumped there by parents who didn’t want to deal with or couldn’t deal with should not have been there in the first place. Those surviving to move out on their own may be thrilled with their new life, but we know (personally) some are not.

But the parents of the last 30 years had a say in their children’s lives. And were able to act as advocates for them, some of the residents could act as advocates for themselves and many staff ensured the residents in there were part a of the local society.

Much of what you mention did not occur during my husband’s employment there. In his time at the HRC it was not what you describe. Your description reminds me of the institutions of 1800s and early 1900s, and while there may have been places (even the HRC) where this occurred in the past, in the last 30 years it was very unlike that. Time and method moves forward and improves. Maybe not as much or as fast as it should have, but it wasn’t a house of horror either.

The HRC was “home” and I can tell you that there are many of the former residents living “in society” in our area who were so thoughtlessly dragged from the home they loved are not doing well. And are not happy. They miss the staff they’d grown to care about over the years. And the other residents they lived with.

Group homes are not the answer. Residents are living in prisons – beautiful homes, cared for by people just like the staff from the HRC, but prisons none-the-less.

Group homes are not appropriately staffed, residents have little contact with those residents they used to know and their circle of friends is now limited to the other residents in the groups homes (maximum of 5) and the staff, and perhaps the neighbours…if the neighbours aren’t afraid of them. There is little interaction with neighbours. We have a group home in our neighbourhood. I speak from experience.

They are able to visit downtown or the bowling alley, or movies or any other event in town, but only if there are enough staff on hand. That’s sometimes not the case. But this is no different than when they lived at the HRC – all of that and much more was done for them at the “institution”. Because the staff numbers were higher, they were able to access local events and shopping much more often than they are now. There was a bus ride every single day for those who wanted it. Not much like that is available any more. Nor is the therapeutic pool, or the boat rides or many other things they enjoyed.

There were facilities that they can no longer access. And whether you or others outside of our town believe it, while they may have gained their own room in a house, they have lost as much by being moved into society in little caves all their own. A combination of facility access and neighbourhood living might have been a far better option.

Those who are capable of living on their own in apartments are entirely different and have access to everything they can get to on their own. They have help available to them when they need it. And of those, some are delighted to have the freedom they didn’t know. And I’m excited to see them discovering a life “outside”. Some are having transitional difficulty and feel lost; bereft and alone. How should I feel about them?

But it isn’t all chocolate and roses. At least one has been mugged and attacked while out on his own. How is this better? And why did it occur? The why is because he had no idea people would treat him this way, and because there was no one there to look out for him. This is better how? He is now afraid to leave his home.

I can only say the past is the past, and hopefully society learns from it. But it’s doubtful because we have already taken away any freedom they could have had by putting them behind closed doors in neighbourhoods where no one wants them, where they have no friends. For many, access to people they once called “friends” is limited to a telephone call, because they have been scattered across the province.

I’m sorry, but the things you speak of are long, long gone. It doesn’t make those things right. But life in society isn’t much better for all of them.

As for would I have lived there? Actually, I would have. Even more important, would I have placed a child there if I had one I couldn’t care for on my own? Yes. Yes I would. Because I know it provided so many things I could never have given that child on my own. It was not as you think all the time.

Dreamy? No. I certainly don’t think of it as dreamy. Your horror stories though? I haven’t been able to find anyone (resident or staff – that we know, which obviously isn’t everyone) to confirm that.

You really don’t get it – do you think whether that child “rocking in this hallway or that” has a life any different in society? The answer is no. That child is still “rocking in this hallway or that”, only now…they don’t recognize the hallway, or the people around them. In some cases they are many more miles away from their family.

People “rock” to ease the pain of a lot of things. You applying “confinement” as the reason is your own opinion. Given your own analogy “we rock babies to soothe them” then I guess you think the baby must feel confined whenever it cries and you have to rock it. You can’t apply any one to reason to things done by people who sometimes just can’t tell you the reason. Many have arrived in the facility in that condition or in far worse condition than when they left.

As for the “work camp” you mention – almost all of the residents my husband dealt with loved the farm, and it’s animals. It wasn’t a “work camp” and they certainly weren’t “forced to work” there. This farm saw many visitors in the form of children from the community and the residents were proud to be part of the farm and loved to show the children the animals. Some would rather have been there than anywhere else.

My husband worked for a time in the educational system as an EA after he left the HRC. These residents who are teachable (and some who are not) are in the “regular” schools. Is it better? Are you serious? You must have forgotten what highschool was like if you think it’s better for all of them. An adult in highschool who needs his diapers changed on a regular basis is not exactly part of most mainstream highschool life. They have their own little rooms and places and seldom do “regular” students mingle with these ones. It’s not better at all. It only serves to point out more profoundly their differences to them – while they might have impairments, they are not stupid.

Some members of society think they should be a part of society, which is all well and good when it works. What happens when it doesn’t? Because it doesn’t always. And it’s heartbreaking for them. My husband finally left because he couldn’t watch it anymore.

How do I look at these people now? Honestly? Not much different, except that I feel a lot sorrier for some of them. They are forced into situations they can’t deal with because society thinks it’s better for them, and are living in places they don’t recognize where they have even less freedom than they had before.

Where is their say in what happens? They don’t have any more say in their lives now than they did before, because society (in the form of government) is STILL making their decisions for them. One such resident who appeared to love my husband and a number of the other staff is now many hours away from us, in a place he’s never been before. Is he happy? Why don’t you ask him?

When you’ve had a chance to work in some of these group homes, you can decide for yourself. My husband now works a night shift at two different group homes and dayshift at one of them. He’s there alone, with the residents at night in one house; most of whom are larger than he. What do you suppose he should do when the largest of the guys goes on a rampage? Any idea what that’s like? Because when one starts, it gets the others riled up too. Whit no other staff on hand and not being allowed to touch the residents the situation is flat out dangerous for both the staff and the residents – all of them. Sometimes there is no recourse except to call the police. That’s a lot better, yep. I agree. NOT!

From my point of view, this is no solution.

I could say a lot more, and tell you a lot more stories of what’s happening with some of these people in the group homes, but it wouldn’t matter because you seem to think it’s better. Is it better that some group homes don’t have certified, qualified staff? That medications are sometimes given by people with no meds certification? That doesn’t apply to every provider of group home service – some are better than others, but it does apply. And it is happening.

And are things any different, really? We are still forcing “what we think is best for them” on them. Has anybody bothered to ask them where they want to be? Nothing has changed, except where it’s happening – instead of freedom to roam, they are shut up behind closed doors. Yeah, that’s better.

No matter which side you are looking at it from, there is no perfect solution in an imperfect world.

AN INVITATION: any former resident or staff of the HRC is free to voice their opinions – good or bad. Please feel free to leave a comment on your experiences, eve if it’s bad. Because everyone needs to know the truth from every side.